Henry N. Beard Bücher

Die erste und einzige Parodie auf das große Werk der Fantasy - mit allem, was Ihnen vom Großmeister über Gutgolf, Dildo, Frito und die Ringe verschwiegen wurde! "Siehst ein bisschen heruntergekommen aus, Golfie", kicherte Dildo. Das alte Zauberergeschäft geht wohl nicht so gut? Gutgolf sah etwas gequält aus, als er seinen Pennälerspitznamen hörte, ordnete aber voll Würde seine Kleidung. "Es ist nicht meine Schuld, wenn Ungläubige über meine Talente spotten", sagte er. "Meine Wunder werden immer noch bewirken, dass alle gaffen und sich ducken!" Plötzlich fuchtelte er mit seinem Kratzer herum, und der Raum wurde in Dunkelheit getaucht. Durch die Schwärze sah Dildo, dass Gutgolfs Gewänder leuchtend und strahlend geworden waren. Seltsame Buchstaben in Elbenschrift erschienen rätselhafterweise auf dem Vorderteil seines Mantels, und Dildo vermochte sie zu lesen: Willst du mich im Dunkeln küssen, Baby?

Tired of being beaten by an honest game of golf, self-proclaimed hacker Henry Beard figured that he didn't need a new swing--his game just needed a new set of rules. WithThe Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf, he created a bible for the sensible golfer who doesn't have time to lose. You'll learn how to cope with pesky influences: missed shots and lost balls that wreak havoc on your score. Did you search unsuccessfully for your ball in the fairway? Don't panic. All you have to do is declare that it is a Ball Missing in Fairway But Obviously Not Lost (Exception #6) and drop another ball into the approximate spot where itmusthave landed. What could make more sense? Filled withfairrules, this is the book that every practical golfer must have.

Saucy guide to survival in everyday French as it is really spoken. Included are chapters on insults, sex, drink, and those silent yet expressive Gallic gestures.

Leslie Nielsen, the World's Greatest Bad Golfer, teams up with humorist Henry Beard to produce a golf book for legions of hopeless duffers who know in their heart of hearts that no matter how much they practice, no matter what new tip they follow, no matter what foolproof method they embrace, they are never going to improve. Lavishly illustrated with more than 100 photos of the master himself, this bestselling golf parody is the perfect gift for Father's Day.

Designed to guide the reader through the use of Latin, this humorous book includes everyday English expressions rendered into grammatically accurate, idiomatically correct, classical Latin, with an easy-to-use pronunciation guide included. This is the sequel to Latin for all Occasions.

In Encyclopedia Paranoiaca, master satirists Henry Beard and Christopher Cerf have assembled an authoritative, disturbingly comprehensive, and utterly debilitating inventory of things poised to harm, maim, or kill you – all of them based on actual research about the perils of everyday life. Beard and Cerf cite convincing evidence that everyday things we consider healthy – eating leafy greens, flossing, washing our hands – are actually harmful, and items we thought were innocuous – drinking straws, flip-flops, neckties, skinny jeans – pose life-threatening dangers. Did you know that nearly ten thousand people are sent to A&E each year because of escalator accidents? And if you're crossing your legs right now, you're definitely at serious risk.

More humor from the bestselling authors of Sailing, Gardening, Cooking, and Fishing. A perfect Father's Day gift!