White women are often conditioned to prioritize niceness, but this desire for perfection and conflict avoidance aligns with characteristics of white supremacy culture. Regina Jackson and Saira Rao, founders of Race2Dinner, have observed that this tendency among white women can hinder genuine anti-racism efforts. They pose critical questions: How has the need to be nice benefited Black women, Indigenous women, and women of color? Has it advanced your fight against sexism or achieved economic equality with white men? By challenging this oppressive need for niceness, the authors analyze nine behaviors typical of white women—such as tone-policing and weaponizing tears—that perpetuate white supremacy and impede progress toward equity. This work serves as a call to action for those committed to dismantling white supremacy, particularly their own. Genuine anti-racism work often requires discomfort and may provoke backlash from other white individuals who seek to maintain the status quo. If you’re not challenging white norms regularly, you may not be engaging in effective anti-racism. This book encourages a deeper understanding of these dynamics and invites white women to confront their roles in perpetuating systemic inequalities.
